Simple. Not Easy. Easy to confuse the two. It’s supposed to be the opposite of complicated and difficult.
But its not. Having kids, buying a house, getting a dog, starting a business.
As humans, we are good at thinking ahead; we can visualise a goal in the future to aim for. Crossing a finish line, walking into your home, taking your puppy for a walk.
At the same time, we are also pretty bad at thinking about how the future of things will be.
There is simply no way you can anticipate all consequences of big decisions. Even if a friend tells you about transfer costs or vet visits, you can’t know how you will react to them in advance.
That’s why the saying: “Life rarely turns out the way you think it will” is cliché. We all think we know how it will turn out, and we are still completely surprised by reality.
So why do we do these things at all? Exactly. It’s about the why.
You will still go ahead and do it, just to make your own mistakes. even though there is a world of advice in the palm of your hand, you will still make the decision.
With the big decisions in life, there are usually lots of reasons not do it. Which usually comes down to risk, effort and sacrifice.
And even though relationships, ultramarathons, pets, and new businesses have been around for a long time, new advice never stops.
Which means, we are still figuring out how to do these things.
You would think that with all the years of evolution on our side, we would be able to write “ultimate guides” for every human experience that everyone could use to successfully navigate all the big decisions in life.
But they don’t exist.
Why is that? What does that tell you about the human experience?
It tells you that each person is unique. A unique blend of genetics and influences and interpretations. That after all this time, we are all still just making it up as we go.
Trying things, making mistakes. Seeing where it leads. It also tells you everyone will make their own mistakes.
Everyone will do it their unique way.
The best you can hope for is to have some vague idea of what you are in for. And rely on others.
For advice, support, and helping you out.
This is why social support is so crucial. Telling people you are going to do it, them giving you advice, and you relying on them when things turn out different than you expected.
One of the reasons that moving to a new city is difficult, when you need to make new friends and find your way without your people. Why homesickness can be debilitating. Stepping out of the comfort zone to go after something is risky and hard.
Something that seems simple will usually be complicated and difficult.
And something that seems easy will usually be difficult and complicated.
The point is not to not do it.
The point is to go after a fuller life. To expect randomness and learn to live with it. Not be afraid of it.
Because not doing it is not an option.
Only leads to stagnation.
Life is about growth. Not standing still.
If you put your leg in a cast it will wither away. Muscles are meant to be used.
The point is not to wish it different. But experience as is.
Get the help you need to make it through. Because none of life was meant to be lived alone.
This could be one of the built-in safety features of life. That whatever we set out to do will turn out differently, so that we need to rely on others.
To make sure we seek out others.
To make sure we don’t go solo.
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