This week, I realised again why we must let go of the things we hold onto so tightly. I could literally see the difference. And the benefit.
We all have stories we hold onto. Things we “know” about ourselves to be fact. Because we lived it for so long, we keep seeing “evidence” telling us it’s true.
“I’m too…”
“I don’t have enough…”
“I am not like…., so I can’t…”
These things take up mind space. Without you even realising it. You just think and act your way through your day because of it. Unconsciously.
I was trying to figure out a challenging work problem this week, and as I was looking for the answer, thinking, writing, researching. One morning, it hit me. I could see how much energy this figuring-out process was costing me. And as I was telling myself to let go of the tight grip and make space for the answer, I could feel the space that would open up if I were to get this right.
It felt like seeing an empty storeroom after throwing out all those old, dusty, musty boxes, sweeping the floor and suddenly having a huge empty space.
The relief. The weight that is no longer there.
Side note. I am a minimalist. I enjoy clean, open spaces. I see it as a possibility. Open space is something I can fill with ideas (of which there are many😊).
Clutter, chaos and crammed is not inspiring. It weighs a lot.
Heavy and disorganised takes up a lot of energy. So, I always strive for the cleanest, most inspiring space. Whether mental or physical.
So, back to the realisation.
As I saw the amount of space I would get back when letting go of this issue, I realised there are other ways of dealing with the problem that would not take up so much space.
Writing about and solving the problem on paper would take up much less mindspace. Then, you would have a physical roadmap to which you can return.
Like writing a grocery list instead of trying to remember it while navigating the aisle, you never remember everything. I always forget at least one item.
Writing about the problem is also more of a dialogue, where you can look at the words from a distance. And then work on your response.
It’s a back-and-forth. Still with yourself, but asynchronous. Not at the same time. Harder to go round in circles when you are writing the circle. You can pick up where you left off.
Writing it out literally takes it out of your mind. Gives you space to breathe.
Tough conversation with a friend? Write.
Struggling with a new employee? Write.
Not happy with your life? Write.
Family issues? Write.
Start small. 2 minutes a day. One thought at a time. Take note of how it makes you feel. If it makes you feel better. This reward will make it easier for you to stick with the habit. We only do things that make us feel good. Or give us a reward.
Chocolate. Working for a salary.
If we don’t get something for our effort. We don’t do it.
Find what writing gives you, and you will be more likely to return to it. One word at a time. Without judgment.
Give it time. It will lead to something interesting. And invaluable.
The space you get back from writing it out is invaluable. You get to choose what to fill it with. Things you enjoy. Friends that make you laugh. Your dog’s adorable face.
Your choice. Your freedom.
Calmness is rare these days. Depression and anxiety, overwhelm and acting out are abundant. Tolerance and acceptance are low. Paranoia and distrust are high.
Appearance matters most on social media. The world you see on your feed is far from the real world, yet everyone is addicted.
Technology was created to make our lives easier. To ensure survival. We invented things to help us along our journey of life.
A graph of comfort and ease of use that has skyrocketed. At our own expense. The tool has become a disadvantage.
We took the technologies of connection, sharing and togetherness – things we need as a species – and turned them against us.
Social feeds are increasing anxiety and depression. Tools for connection are increasingly disconnecting us. And polarising us.
This world we live in makes the things that make us human more valuable.
Creativity, expression, inspiration, listening, conversation, thinking.
Of which writing is an important part. Formulating ideas.
Putting those ideas on paper. Seeing connections. Solving challenges to grow.
It really is what makes us human.
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